The Christmas Gift
There is another story that shares the same title. Its a touching tale of true love and sacrifice, and the sweet irony that follows ultimate good intentions.
This isn't that story.
Having a young daughter leads to Christmas being a real source of all things Barbie. Having an odd sense of humor leads to these gifts becoming twisted shadows of their former wholesome selves. One particular favorite was Gymnastic Barbie. She came with a parallel bar set up, and a remote control. When you put her hands on little pegs on the top bar of the gymnastic equipment she would draw her legs up in a pike position and perform as many UP AND OVER's (I'm sure there's a gymnastic word for that, that I can't recall) as you chose to have her do - with just the push of a button on the remote control. A few hours after Gymnastic Barbie was opened my daughter grew bored with her and moved on to something else. I decided to give it a whirl.
Everything was going fine until Gymnist Barbie wasn't properly placed for a good handhold. Down she fell to the ground, but the remote had already been pushed. Thats when Gymnist Barbie forever became known as Paralysis Barbie. With her hands and arms stiffly before her, she drew up her back legs, her plastic barbie butt - with the flowered flesh colored extruded panites (she had, of course, become naked almost immediately upon being taken from her box) - thrusting high into the air. Her torso moved forward a few inches, her hips fell back towards the ground. The remote control was pushed, her butt once again reached for the sky as her legs were drawn up in what would have resulted in a really fine UP AND OVER, if only she'd been on the parallel bars. Over and over she made excrutiatingly slow progress across the floor with her peculiar stiff limbed, pike position crawl. It was great.
Paralysis Barbie was an even bigger hit than Gymnist Barbie, and it only got better when the dog ate the hands and feet off of Malibu Skipper and she was renamed Amputee Skipper and was the perfect audience for her sister's efforts.
Merry Christmas.
This isn't that story.
Having a young daughter leads to Christmas being a real source of all things Barbie. Having an odd sense of humor leads to these gifts becoming twisted shadows of their former wholesome selves. One particular favorite was Gymnastic Barbie. She came with a parallel bar set up, and a remote control. When you put her hands on little pegs on the top bar of the gymnastic equipment she would draw her legs up in a pike position and perform as many UP AND OVER's (I'm sure there's a gymnastic word for that, that I can't recall) as you chose to have her do - with just the push of a button on the remote control. A few hours after Gymnastic Barbie was opened my daughter grew bored with her and moved on to something else. I decided to give it a whirl.
Everything was going fine until Gymnist Barbie wasn't properly placed for a good handhold. Down she fell to the ground, but the remote had already been pushed. Thats when Gymnist Barbie forever became known as Paralysis Barbie. With her hands and arms stiffly before her, she drew up her back legs, her plastic barbie butt - with the flowered flesh colored extruded panites (she had, of course, become naked almost immediately upon being taken from her box) - thrusting high into the air. Her torso moved forward a few inches, her hips fell back towards the ground. The remote control was pushed, her butt once again reached for the sky as her legs were drawn up in what would have resulted in a really fine UP AND OVER, if only she'd been on the parallel bars. Over and over she made excrutiatingly slow progress across the floor with her peculiar stiff limbed, pike position crawl. It was great.
Paralysis Barbie was an even bigger hit than Gymnist Barbie, and it only got better when the dog ate the hands and feet off of Malibu Skipper and she was renamed Amputee Skipper and was the perfect audience for her sister's efforts.
Merry Christmas.
posted by Nekyia (nom d'plume) at 11/24/2005 01:54:00 PM
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